#Stuck in the middle games full#
#Stuck in the middle games series#
#Stuck in the middle games free#

Left behind, feeling forgotten, the fear of never being found, the strangeĮmotions from being looked at by strange men in a way I was unfamiliar with but All those indescribable feelings from being Someone at work getting credit for my work or not getting an invitation to someĮvent will bring it all back in a rush. All my worst behaviors as an adult are a result of this trigger. Myīaggage is a fear trigger when I feel I’ve been forgotten, or if someone makes There could’ve been more of us and the others are still wandering around a mall I mean, there were five us! Well, five that I know of. It was done and over and there wasįamily, it is only natural to feel somewhat insignificant and invisible at It wasn’t until they got back together, they realized nether More than crafts, so Mom thought I went with Daddy. Sisters and Daddy had gone to the livestock barn with my brothers. The drive home Mom explained that she had gone to the craft building with my “You’re alright,” she said, “Stop crying. The sobs hurt my chest and throat in their rush to escape. I was so overwhelmed with relief that the tears poured out in a flood. Heard “there she is” and she pointed to me. Then, I saw the familiar petite figure of my mother walking toward me. I cried silent tears off and on for what seemed like I sat down on the curb near the gate and worried that I had Iįound the space needle, a familiar landmark in the fairgrounds, and from there I

Not left yet, they would eventually show up at the exit and I would be saved. Thought occurred to me to find the exit and wait there. I was not with them grew in strength along with the sting behind my eyes. The fear that my family was going to go home without noticing I’m sure it wasn’t as badĪs I am describing it, but to a lost seven-year-old girl, it felt worse. My mind like some madhouse scene from a horror movie. My memory, it seemed the carnival workers were there to taunt me. I held my sobs back and tried to keep the tears from falling. I was terrified and afraid to cry where anyoneĬould see me. Use the pay phone, which didn’t matter because anyone I would have called, or whose I may have gone in circles, but it felt like I had Time I checked my progress it seemed the buildings got farther away or were suddenly Grease and urine in these crude alleyways mingled with the smell of corndogs.

Out of sight and try to make it to the buildings. I traveled behind the carnival trailers to stay Some of them invited me to come sit and wait, some just inviting.įor awhile I hid under a trailer, watching feet go by, Some of them sent me away quickly when they realized I didn’t have any money. I walked up and down the midway, carneys motioning to me, taking my hand, calling me “pretty girl” asking me if I wanted to play. I didn’t know which one of the many buildings on the far end of the fairgrounds were the right ones. I remembered Mom said she wanted to go to the crafts building and Daddy wanted to go to the livestock building, but I did not know whether they went together or split up. I looked at each game and the lines of the rides until I was frantic.

#Stuck in the middle games full#

I looked around my area, in a full circle, then ventured out and back. I turned back to my family but there was no family to turn to. I threw five balls and was immediately out of The balls were so hard, and the basketsĪngled just enough that the balls always bounced back out. Money from my hand and put five baseballs on the counter. I pulled out the few bills and coins I had left, maybe threeĭollar’s worth and showed it to him.

#Stuck in the middle games series#

The carnival worker motioned to the series of bushel baskets hung at a tilt on Was taking it all in, while Mom and Daddy discussed the plan of attack. The food trailers, the rides and lights and all the people were intoxicating. Where all the games and rides were centralized. There were the five of us kids and Mom and Daddy. Remember that night, vividly, though filtered heavily through the eyes of a second I enjoyed the fair until 1971, the year I turned seven.

#Stuck in the middle games free#

Local schools offered free admission tickets and released early on a Tuesday so students could attend the fair. There were freak show trailers with the bearded lady and bizarre things preserved in jars, like embryonic piglets with two heads. The fair had its own Ferris wheel, but a carnival company brought rides like the Tilt-O-Whirl and the Merry-Go-Round. Oklahomans all over the state would drive to Oklahoma City to show their prized bulls or enter jams and quilts in contests against other jams and quilts in hopes of winning the blue ribbon. Good that I would be, if not noticed, at least appreciated.īorn and raised in central Oklahoma, when fall comes, I think of the State Fair. I spent a great deal of my time trying to be noticed or being so very I was born the middle child of a brood of five, but also the